Don Buchanan remembered

While I don’t know if it is appropriate, I took time to visit the Rezem Funeral Home website to light another candle for my greatest friend. It’s been a bit over two years since he left this plane of existence, but that makes it no less important, painful, or unbelievable.

I had a thought: what would it be like if I had a total of 30 minutes to spend with folks who’d Gone On Ahead–what would I do?

I’d split the time into three, so I could spend 10 minutes with three different people.

  1. I’d want to see my Nana first; she passed on during the winter of my freshman year in college. The story goes that once my dad made the decision not to allow an operation for her due to age, that she just passed on, peacefully. However, she was my Nana and I wasn’t there. My folks didn’t tell me anything about it until after finals (I understand their reasoning but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with). I would tell her about my life and about her great-grandson who is so very much like my dad (hence the middle name Thomas, after him).
  2. I’d see my dad next. We were not on the greatest of terms when he was killed in a car accident. I’d tell him about his grandson, whom he would have enjoyed immensely; I’d tell him about the passing of my first husband, my second wonderful life with Christopher, and that I went back to school to get my doctorate and moved to SoCal. I think he’d enjoy all of that.
  3. Lastly I’d see Don. I’d tell him all the pieces I told my dad but I’d tell him about how I tried in more recent years to look him up but without success. I’d tell him how I blew finding him once back in the late ’90s; I was with Khalil in New Brunswick on a humbug (shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have been up to what I was up to, but I’ll leave it at that) and when things didn’t go as planned, I could have gone into the Court Tavern (I was parked right near there) and tried to find out if he ever came in there at that point. I could have left my card with a note and asked him to call or email me. I’d apologize for not trying harder. I’d tell him that I was sorry that I hadn’t taken that leap and that it would have been a great thing for me to reconnect–without doubt it would have changed the course of history.

So that’s it. I’ve been thinking about Don all this month. I have had more to do than I care to talk about and that is no excuse for not taking the time to acknowledge my greatest friend. I’m doing it now, still during the month of his birth and death. I pray that his family is well and if I could reach out to them, if I could do anything, I would.

Don, I see your smile in my heart, and hope you still see mine.

Saturday, April 24th, 2010 Confessions of a Cave Dweller

1 Comment to Don Buchanan remembered

  • Lauren says:

    Hi there.
    Like you, I tend to go and scour the internet to find bits and pieces of something left of my brother. I came across your blog posts this morning. I’m sorry I didn’t see them sooner or I would have contected you.

    I’m Don’s sister. I would love to talk to you sometime if you ever feel the need. Thanks so much for sharing what you knew of Don. It sounds like you miss him as much as I do, and my “ball of grief” is still growing, rolling, changing shape, but definitely not diminishing in any way…..He’s thought of, missed and pined for daily.

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